I HAVE PAID MY DEBT TO SIKKIM

 Intuitions and impulses have a way of revealing our inner self if one attentively waits and listens to what they have to say. It takes its own time to speak to you. It chooses its own unique and peculiar ways to give the message. One must be ready to listen to the inner voice and willing to abide by its promptings.

   And slowly and gradually I became aware of what really prompted me to submit my resignation to the SPCC(I) chief on August 25, 2004. It may not be the only reason but it certainly was one of the main reasons for my sudden decision to quit public life.

   The failure of Sikkim’s political leadership, dominated by Sikkimese Nepalese, on the long-pending demand on restoration of the political rights of the people through reservation of seats in the Sikkim Legislative Assembly, has already been highlighted in this book in the preceding chapters. There is no point in repeating it. However, what needs to be emphasized is the role of the younger generation of Sikkimese Nepalese leaders in the Congress party as far as our political rights are concerned.

   Without naming them many of them were not comfortable working under Bhandari in the Congress party. In fact, they preferred another person to head the Congress party in Sikkim. These were also the same persons who suffered under both Bhandari and Chamling’s rule. Some of them in the past so many years have taken their stand in safeguarding the distinct identity of Sikkim and the Sikkimese while voicing their concern on erosion of democratic values in the State.

   Ever since the SSP-Cong merger in August 2003 I expected and wanted this particular group within the Congress party to take the lead in not only revamping the party but also in asserting their leadership with the objective of forming the government one day and providing good governance and thereby safeguarding our special status within the Union.

   But it gradually dawned on me that this group, who were young, educated and had some political experience, was sadly falling far below my expectation. It is one thing to make occasional headlines in the local media for the right cause but quite another to wage a prolonged war against vested interests on behalf of the people. Most of them were from the upper-caste Nepalese community and were expected to put up a better show than the more older politicians from the majority community.

   In private, this group thought highly of themselves and aspired to replace Bhandari not only from the Congress leadership but from the leadership of the Nepalese community as a whole in the State. However, in public they fell far short of their own expectations and aspirations. They neither let Bhandari do his job nor were they able to replace him or do whatever was necessary. This was the situation before, during and after the Assembly polls in May 2004.

   By now I was convinced that Sikkim had no future under those whom I reposed so much faith and hope. “My stars have fallen,” I used to tell some of them, indicating that they had neither the capability nor the commitment to lead Sikkim to a better future. When I became increasingly aware of their lack of direction and commitment for the common cause and their constant involvement in petty politics I chose to quit politics altogether. There was no point in staying on and wasting my time in politics when even the enlightened and politically active leaders of the majority community did not share my conviction and commitment.

   Though the circumstances that I faced in June-August 2004 were different from what I experienced in mid-2000, when the Assembly seat resolution came up in the Assembly, the situation and the issues involved were very much the same. Is the Sikkimese Nepalese leadership in the State committed to preserving the distinct identity of Sikkim and the Sikkimese within the Union under Article 371F of the Constitution or is it only paying lip-services to it to win votes?

   “If freedom is humiliated or in chains today, it is not because her enemies had recourse to treachery. It is simply because she has lost her natural protector...Freedom is the concern of the oppressed, and her natural protectors have always come from the oppressed.” (Camus)

   If tomorrow I choose to brace myself for yet another long-drawn battle for the right cause I know who my natural friends and enemies are.

   And though I did not make any mention of this issue publicly when I finally quit politics and the Press these were the main factors that prompted me to hand over my resignation to the Congress party chief in the summer of 2004. Political and professional life in Sikkim have no real meaning for me if we cannot embrace all communities and unite them towards a common destiny where peace, unity, harmony, freedom, democracy and the rule of law reign supreme.

   The fact that nobody really made any serious approaches to me on these issues during my three-and-half-year-long (2004-2007) self-imposed exile proved beyond any shadow of doubt that there was nobody who really and truly cared for Sikkim and the Sikkimese people and for justice, freedom, democracy and the rule of law to triumph in Sikkim. Even those who flirted with me politically for a brief while when I re-emerged from my hideout in 2007-8 have prooved themselves to be unfaithful allies and a liability for the Sikkimese cause.

   People make choices in life and they will either succeed or suffer from the choices they make. I chose to differ, to dissent and thereby suffered from the choices I made for over a quarter of a century. My works are reflected in the pages of my books which I have been able to complete during my exile in my own homeland. I hope that the dreams that I set out to fulfill will one day be reflected in the hearts and perhaps in the works of those who believe in the righteousness of our cause.

   I have lived out my dreams. I have paid my debt.  I am a free man now.

(Ref: The Lone Warrior: Exiled in My Homeland, Jigme N. Kazi, Hill Media Publications, 2014)